OAKLAND, Calif. — Late last summer, about a month before she was to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding in Hawaii, Deborah Lynn backed out. It wasn't so much from coldness in her feet as from the heat building up under her ruffled, Dresses for wedding,party,graduation,Evening,New Spring Collection for 2011,best designer bridesmaid dresses different unique and eclectic look with distinctive great dresses sale. pink-taffeta collar.

The pressure was piling on. Lynn, 50, of Discovery Bay, Calif., had already helped select, been fitted for, purchased and picked up her bridesmaid dress bridesmaid dress , booked the $3, mauve bridesmaid dresses mauve bridesmaid dresses000 airfare for the trip for her family, arranged to pull her special-needs son out of school for the September wedding, been to the lavish engagement party bearing a gift, been to a shower bearing a gift, planned to attend the bachelorette party bearing a gift and yet another "girls day out" to be held in Hawaii before the nuptials. She had just managed to squeeze in some of her own life doing volunteer work in Walnut Creek, Calif., colour bridesmaid dresses colour bridesmaid dresses when the bride-to-be called with yet another list of demands.

"She said Halter Wedding Dresses Halter Wedding Dresses, bridesmaid dresses sale 'We need these necklaces and you have to get these earrings. You need to go here, and do this and you need to go here and do that.' I told her, 'You know what? I can't do it,' " Lynn said. "Every day there was something more to do with the wedding wedding . And most of them seemed to involve gifts."

It wasn't the money, she said, but the quantity of things the bridesmaids were required to do.

"Being a bridesmaid is supposed to be an honor and you're supposed to do these things for your friend," she said. "But at some point, they need to be a friend to you too."

Yes, for better or worse, women everywhere — and sometimes the occasional man — will likely be asked to stand up for a girlfriend, sister or cousin on her special day. And now that we're in June, the peak of the ever-unpredictable, emotion-charged wedding season, bridesmaid duties are on the minds of many, ushered in this year with several wedding-themed movies including the aptly named "Bridesmaids," which provides a new and hilarious take on the task.

While the comedy is a stretch from reality (women rarely collectively and comically vomit in an upscale bridal salon), it did hit on some hard truths, with the main character freaking out under expectations from the bride and competition with a Bridesmaid-zilla.

Now this is not to bash brides. Weddings can be wonderful, joyous affairs and, after all, it's supposed to be the bride's day.

"I tell the wedding party wedding party up front, the bride is the star," said Sanford Marshall, owner of the Wedding Coach, a wedding planning service in the East Bay and San Francisco. "Being a maid or maid of honor is definitely a commitment of time as well as money red cocktail dresses on sale , custom made prom dresses custom made prom dresses" he said. "But you need to be rocking and rolling and supporting the bride all the way."

These days many brides do try to be sensitive to their friends' needs, said Karen Tierney, who makes custom gowns and restores vintage dresses at Studio Trousseau in Alameda, Calif. "I've noticed that much of tradition is being tossed out for a more practical, less-waste approach," she said.

"My own daughter, for instance, asked her four bridesmaids to buy black cocktail- party dresses party dresses in a style of their own choosing, instead of making them buy a hideous, identical thing they'll never wear again."

For many, being in a friend's wedding is indeed a happy experience. Tonette Slaviero of San Jose, Calif., thinks so, and she should know. She's done it 15 times.

"You can see why, for good reason, I relate more to the '27 Dresses' movie that came out a couple of years ago," joked Slaviero, a high schoolteacher and work-experience coordinator. "I still have all the dresses, and in some cases matching shoes, from weddings from 1981 to 1999. In fact, two of the weddings in October of 1985, the brides — friends of mine who didn't know each other — chose the exact same dress for the bridesmaids. So, I have one in lavender and one in red."

Though her collection represents quite a financial investment, Slaviero said the job has always been a delight, never a burden. Not even the time she was asked to fill in at the last minute when a woman backed out of a friend's bridal party. "I knew I was an afterthought, but it was still nice of her to think of me," she said.

Such happy endings are not always the case, and bridal conflict can often result in a friendship "divorce." Kathy Woofter, 48, of Livermore, Calif., a former firefighter who now works in fire prevention for Contra Costa County, was a bridesmaid in a country Western-themed ceremony about 17 years ago. "My friend wanted us to get real cowboy boots, pants, a hat, a country Western shirt, special earrings. In today's money, the outfit would be about $400. And I was a working at a job then that paid $15 an hour. So it was tough."

Not only was she annoyed with the expense, but she and the bride had a falling out not long after the wedding, broke up as friends and have not spoken since.

Of course, when Woofter and her partner got married years later at a church in Livermore, both women had their own set of bridesmaids with a black-and-white polka-dot theme. "I can imagine one of those friends calling the newspaper now too and saying, 'Can you believe what Kathy made us wear?' " she said. "Ah, circle of life."

Karen Carlson, 54, of Union City, Calif., who teaches dental hygiene at Chabot College in Hayward, Calif., will be a bridesmaid on June 18. She's been in several previous ceremonies, but says this is the first time it feels like an honor. "I'm not even in touch with most of the women from those weddings anymore," she said. "One I know is divorced. One still married. I don't know about the others. This time it's the most meaningful by far. She's a really close friend."

She notes that this is also the first time the dress she's assigned to wear is one she actually likes.

"It's a pretty midnight-blue dress, strapless and pleated on top. Before? Hideous, hideous ladies cocktail dresses , hideous. One had a cape."

The dress worst by far, party dresses she says, was the one for a country-French barbecue themed wedding.

"Cornflower blue, mid-calf with a cream ruffle, and a hat that was just a brim with the head part exposed. All this was custom made. Super expensive. And hideous."

Looking back, some women wish they'd turned down the request to be a bridesmaid. But it's tough to say no. Slaviero did once (otherwise she'd have 16 dresses in her closet) after she'd returned from a trip to Europe and couldn't afford the expenses for a wedding in the Midwest. The bride understood, and they're still friends.

Not so for Lynn. "I told my friend, 'You're not 25, you're 50. And when you get married when you're older, your friends are older too. That means they have busy lives. Daily responsibilities.'

"Oh boy, she didn't understand that," Lynn said. "She hates me now. You could say we're divorced."